number 200 bug off bed

you never actually think that bed bugs exist. i once stayed in this hostel in salzburg where we had to sleep in this room that was one big mattress, unisex. it stank of piss and other wacky stuff. i was convinced that i had got bed bugs and we tried to tell the guy (who looked like he had only ever eaten bratwurst, wore leather pants and was the size of a small brown bear) that we wanted our money back because i had caught bed bugs, he kicked us out. but worse, i had to throw out my really expensive feather sleeping bag because i hand washed it (thinking that washing instructions back then meant shit) which made the feathers stick together and create one big feather ball within the bag - nice work.

there is good stuff left on the streets in new york. when i returned home last year with an original fiberglass herman miller chair, all flat mates were like 'where did you get that??' 'THE STREET - i found it!' so proud...i was rapidly informed that those good things on the street are there for a valid reason. they are out there as they are infested with bed bugs...jumping, crawling, visible bugs that live in your bed and have sex and spawn more crawling beasts in your mattress.

so the other night - 2 of us arrived to our new home - low low low grand st. i was like damn it, this place is ghetto...i just kept saying oh you know, few flowers and candles it will be fine. so as soon as stevie gets there, she lays on the bed and is like - 'something just bit me'...i am all, hello drama, trying not to believe that we could possibly have bed bugs.

well, we had them. well i didn't but emily's bed did. my bed just had empty condom packets and other amazing stuff under it.

good times in sublets.



















***SEE!!!!! clinton st nyc