number 242 riding

the path down crown street that i ride seems to be getting faster every time i do it.

last night i was trying hard to not feel like i have been totally over stimulated. pretty much it only took one phone call to get my hot feet peddling out my back gate instead of abiding my house arrest i had put on myself for the night. for some reason just lately, riding a bike seems to attract a certain amount of interaction between all sorts of people that are not on my bike.

riding along, i could feel this car weirdly driving at the same pace. actually it was a cab, filled with 5 men who had asked the driver to put that spot light they use to find addresses...on me. so i look over, yep there they all are, just looking (ogling). ignored, i keep riding. but, when they slowed their pace down to sit just behind me, i decided maybe i might like to say something to them, as that light was now suspiciously shining right on my polka dotted rear end.

so i meet their pace and look over. 'hi' i say...'hi' comes back in unison. still driving and riding at the same 15kpm. 'if you had asked me politely, i would have shown you my ass instead of having to put the spot light on it to have a good look'.

dead silence...then, 'he is getting married next week - show us!'

'too late, and you didn't say please'

zoom off.

number 241 it's all over now

***donovan and bob dylan 1967

number 240 dice

***dice is the only game we need to play....oh and maybe pinball...DICE s smith's house 03 12 09

number 239 phenomenon

i was feeling lucky last night. and a random game of dice seemed to be the perfect destination for luck. someone blew on my dice, and what do you know - i won! first round dunzo...gambling is great - but when you are down to betting with foreign currency, that old 'quit while your ahead' comment some annoying person made up once upon a time is hard not to ignore.

so i left, sans money - bumped into some ladies and next thing 2 of us were telling things that were making our 3rd party pull her tshirt over her head and her ears bleed...4th party arrives with bike in tow. 2nd party gives me a late birthday present on the corner of oxford and college street which went straight on. 3rd party sneaks off, and we lose 2nd party half way down to liverpool street. 4th party and bike riding never felt so good with a big bag of licorice all sorts and a street full of pedestrians.

why and how i woke up in halo of crushed bretton biscuits, and my hands covered in bike chain grease, but a clean face is truly a phenomenon.

number 238 international

number 237 ink

my mother only just stop saying to me 'you don't have any tattoo's do you?' after she came to new york and we were sitting having a coffee, mid conversation she looked through my sheer black top to the middle of my chest and pointed...i looked at her directly in the eye, and stopped what i was saying...paused for a couple of seconds locked eyes, then continued on with my conversation as if the past 5 seconds were a bleep in some dream like state that we had both gone into...not another word spoken about it. really it was my friend sia's fault. it was close to christmas and her mum was there. they were both like 'lets get tattoo's'..and all of a sudden i was with a 60+ year old woman who was saying to me 'ana i am not getting one if you are not getting one' THE PRESSURE...

so off we go. straight to dare devil tattoos i think it's called. can't remember. we were drunk, at the pink pony next door eating french onion soup and snails getting ready to get a tattoo. now it's just there forever.

i wonder if the girl i saw today in coles in the cross's mother ever commented on her tattoo...

right above the ass, as she bent over her top lifted up to reveal in script 'DOGGY STYLE'

number 236 the triffids

***triffids - raining pleasure

number 235 next steps

people don't seem to realise how much fun a place that is empty, plays great old music and has a photo booth can be. when we relentlessly say that we are going to vegas on a saturday night, people are like, 'where??' jac left, she had had enough. hot ken was no where to be seen and clearly all of bena and my attempts of kissing her and laughing at her amazing sexy dancing was not enough for her to keep the fire alive with me and my old partner in crime.

'3 tequila shot's please' i ask...'no shot's allowed'...bena's suggestion of jaeger on the rocks did not go down so well 'I TOLD YOU, NO DRINKS WITHOUT MIXERS!' so much anger behind the bar...really we just wanted some change for the photo shoot we were about to embark on. small amounts of nudity in the photo booth are kind of fun right - forking out another $8 is nothing especially if the first set of photo's that come out half of your heads are missing and you all seem to have a lazy eye. but when it's only your nude part that shows in 2nd set, you lose, and end up having to give that little prized strip to someone else...all of a sudden $16 for 8 tiny photo's when you are flat broke is a lot of coffee.

back to next door and some more spinning around by ourselves. we decide to leave. bump into maggy's friend elliot who was keen to see what i was holding onto. 'where is ana?', 'oh, i don't feature too much in that one' bena looks and smiles at the thought of the hidden copy she has in her bag...'but she does feature in this one!' tadar!!! i'm like ok, you have seen enough of that part of my anatomy now young man...hand it back. 'oh i just want to have another look, i didn't quite get to see.'

elliot leaves, and we decide the next step to complete 'best night ever' was a muesli cookie. cross the road. walk, stop, double take and look at each other - bena is like 'i have no film left', i pull out my camera...

next step...'excuse me young man, would you mind if i take your photo?' willingly leans up against the lamp post and looks straight into that lense down and to the side...'what's it for?' bena is like oh no...'well i have a casting agency and that means if someone comes to me and says, we are looking for handsome young men with long hair and i say i have just the boy, you potentially get a million dollars, so you want to maybe earn a million bucks or not?' bena's jaw drops...'i'd also like to take a photo of your friend'...'could i have a kiss on the cheek' bena's mouth drops even more...'well hmm, no i don't think you could have a kiss on the cheek, but maybe i could...' soft and sweet kiss on the cheek received. 'call me tomorrow baby' cyrus says in his best elvis voice...

best night ever bena...all just for you! and you birthday guy but you went home too early!

number 234 i know you want more

it was joe allen shea's birthday yesterday...dump the bmw, this jeep is for sale!!!











































***happy birthday, i told you susan miller says buy things before we go back in to retrogade - this jeep is yours!

number 233 rise

***public image limited rise

number 232 pump the brakes

when you hang out with people for long enough, it's inevitable that you start talking like them. i work with 2 girls when i go to new york that are total needle in haystack type of people. carin eats the biggest turkey sandwiches, has to have a bag of chips with them and drinks this orange fizzy drink called 'MASH'. karleigh has the best american accent ever and is married to david who is terry richardson's assistant and travels with jack white documenting his tours, i am always like 'karleigh tell me more about alison (mosshart)!!'. both of them have the best legs you have ever seen and if you were laying in a ditch with only half your arm attached and didn't know who to call to come rescue you, you would call them to come and sew it back on for you.

so, i go back 2 times a year and work like a dog with these 2 girls, and get to say really fun things that they make up...i can't remember half of the amazing terms i have learnt from them, but the total winner is 'pump the brakes'. i do not know how i ever lived without this saying, and over the past month it has been on high rotation in my story telling and really every sentence that comes out of my mouth is finished with it.

susan miller so had to pump the brakes on what she was telling me for the months of october and november. i had to pump the brakes when i bumped into my friend helen, and the next thing i was trying on a wedding dress with the both of us saying 'hello, with red boots, stop it!!'...crazy stuff keeps happening when i say it out loud, so i need to totally pump the brakes and only wish for things like a navy ford capri and a money tree, all the really important things in life.

number 231 covers

***Toro y Moi cover of Beach house MASTER OF NONE

number 230 my stomach got sunburnt

got picked up by 2 handsome men and taken to gordons bay. they frolicked while my belly got really sunburnt.















***gordons bay 13 11 09

number 229 spoilt

there was high traffic in the bedroom, and a carrot cake with a sparkler. i should have made more egg sandwiches and been ready earlier.















***31 10 09 darlinghurst rd i got a bunch of killer presents

number 228 true norwegian black metal

i watched this over and over many late nights in ny...the last scene yeiks...