Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Thursday, April 24, 2008

number 32 land of blah



it is true, it doesn't rain in los angeles. well it never has when i have been here, not once. the light is always the same, the women all strangely must go to the ONE and only plastic surgeon here, because they oddly enough all look the same, same dogs, lots of the same big cars.

i went to barneys and saw all sorts of things i wanted, but the main sight was this one woman. aged between 40 and 70 years of age (but i think closer to 60), in the jil sander section. givenchy new gladiator heels, black head to toe, long blonde white hair, and the craziest head i have ever seen. i pretended i really was going to buy some new junya, (which is incredible), just so i could look at her longer. she could not take her eyes off herself, so i actually had no problems in staring as long as i wanted... window licker meets daryl hannah. all i could actually think of was, i wonder if her husband thinks she is hot and do they have a mirror on their bedroom roof?

i always hope i am going to see britney and paris, i did last time i was here. 2 times in fact, and lindsay. lindsay was wearing that sober badge, and i could hear her snorting something in the bathroom, funny that...so i lied already and told someone i saw paris yesterday, but i did see christina ricci today. she looked good. well, for the 3 seconds that she drove past me in her surprisingly BLACK mercedes.

anyway, now i lay on my bed channeling elizabeth taylor (beginning of valium stage), there is a mirror above my bed and i go to palm springs tomorrow - AND, i have just figured out who the clairvoyant was talking about with the letter P - PRINCE!!! i am going to marry prince! and get my upgraded concord...land of blah...not right now!

Friday, April 11, 2008

number 31 best

all of you who were like, 'are we all too boring to write about, who cares about some dumb window in ny, i want to read about us'...

here it is:
best wedding - edwina and robby, michelle and tim
best baby - rocky river wright
best swim - gordons bay early morning with annie and jz, but i couldn't get my hair wet
best travel experience - 2.5 hours on the L90 with a guy picking his ear wax, then dropping it on me
best market find - denim sequin jacket
best home cooked food - annie's salted chocolate tart at 10am
best sleep over - mia's
best laugh - a work email with an unrecognisable picture of ozzy osbourne wearing IFOULD sunglasses, then another email saying that we weren't allowed to send it on to anyone! damn
best news - new baby coming into my family
best ebay purchase - balenciaga perforated snakeskin heels
best forgotten find - fiorucci mickey mouse t, and old love notes
best new music - mgmt (handshake) presets (if i know you)
best work day - finding $500 and not having to give it to anyone
best party - i am taking a risk on this one - Nolan's 30th

number 30 fort tunes

i got all shy when i came back to sydney, and feel funny about writing things like...that i have been to see a clairvoyant or, oh i went to a secret presets gig, and laughed way too loud at edwina singing wa wa wa when my people came on, and me relaying to kim how funny it was when i caught his drumstick at the last gig that we were all at, whilst on someones shoulders...he didn't seem to want to reminisce about how crazy it was that out of all those people, it was ME who caught the stick, let alone, being on shoulders...he just wanted to remember that he was wearing a leather dress...see weird!

anyway i have had my fortune read a couple of times, and they have been pretty spot on, so i thought i am in a pretty good place now, they never tell you you are going to die, so any other news is cool. it is funny though, when you tell people it becomes like a chain reaction, everyone is like GIVE ME HER NUMBER!!!!

so, as i walked into her home, she lit some candles, and told her dog with its half eaten pigs ear to piss off...she sat down, started scribbling and...

- i would get a choice of my partner, infact, i get to choose between 2, one artistic, and the other financially stable = who knows on this one, i have never been good at decision making, so i am actually screwed, end up alone...
- she saw me licking my lips at all the money i was rolling around in = i actually get a proper job when i get back to ny, and i can afford to eat...
- she also saw that i was building some wall and waving behind it = see you later everyone i am getting strong

... but just before i walked out the door with all hope of buying my concord and meeting Philip or someone with the name P??? she was like - STOP I SEE RED - you must keep a diary....so the new chapter begins.