Wednesday, January 21, 2009
number 98 peeping tom
i used to lie on the couch in my old flat on a saturday afternoon and look out at the apartment opposite...my friend used to get really angry because the big tree got cut down that blocked any kind of privacy from the outside world we actually had, and it meant that we had a perfect line of sight for not only the whole of that opposite apartment (that i liked looking at), but my friends dad, who lived in apartment X3. not much would happen, but occasionally there was one couple that would have sex and i would get in trouble for watching...i was like, 'they are just in love, i am not perving on them, ps they are doing it in the kitchen with the blinds open, what do they expect?' i would also get in trouble for walking around with no clothes on. my take on it was, really do they care, and surely anyone regularly looking would just be all, there is the naked girl again, just as much as i was like, there is the sex couple again...
it's nice to be back. there is thunder tonight and i am being super reminiscent.
it's nice to be back. there is thunder tonight and i am being super reminiscent.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
number 97 D-runk luck
I just went to a really nice dinner. I walked a decent amount to the destination, talking the whole way on the phone, making the definite tumor i have created (on the right side of my head just behind my ear) all the more bigger.
I ate spaghetti marinara, without the spaghetti. we talked about what i would wear in -12 degrees next week, dogs, flat mates, grace jones, work, non work, photo's, cameras, food...pretty much a bunch of very interesting topics. for once i feel like i didn't talk too much or get too drunk. we walked and got froghurt, said goodbye, and got into the volvo...THEN....
blahhing on, taking the fun back streets of the cross, when all of a sudden 'whoop whoop' and flashing lights...i was like 'shit , you don't have your lights on'...Constable Whatever comes over and is all 'good evening ladies'. the driver looks at me in horror. she blows the tube, they take her liscence, check the car over and say the inevitable 'where have you ladies been tonight, how much have you had to drink, and is the address you live at'...he holds the device - and then says 'can you read this...' 0.59 we look at each other, and Constable Whatever says 'this is your lucky night ladies'...
we swap seats, me now the driver with an impressive reading of 0.49. repeating a million times 'why did he let us off? i know, it's the happy jumpsuit, whenever I wear this jumpsuit, people smile'. I answer a million and 1 times 'because we are nice, you look Swedish, and my skirt was non existent.
luck...good times in Old Sydney town. someone is now sitting on the couch saying really funny things, including 'stop laughing at me'...i have the repeat button on '0.59, more like 5.9 at this point'...
I ate spaghetti marinara, without the spaghetti. we talked about what i would wear in -12 degrees next week, dogs, flat mates, grace jones, work, non work, photo's, cameras, food...pretty much a bunch of very interesting topics. for once i feel like i didn't talk too much or get too drunk. we walked and got froghurt, said goodbye, and got into the volvo...THEN....
blahhing on, taking the fun back streets of the cross, when all of a sudden 'whoop whoop' and flashing lights...i was like 'shit , you don't have your lights on'...Constable Whatever comes over and is all 'good evening ladies'. the driver looks at me in horror. she blows the tube, they take her liscence, check the car over and say the inevitable 'where have you ladies been tonight, how much have you had to drink, and is the address you live at'...he holds the device - and then says 'can you read this...' 0.59 we look at each other, and Constable Whatever says 'this is your lucky night ladies'...
we swap seats, me now the driver with an impressive reading of 0.49. repeating a million times 'why did he let us off? i know, it's the happy jumpsuit, whenever I wear this jumpsuit, people smile'. I answer a million and 1 times 'because we are nice, you look Swedish, and my skirt was non existent.
luck...good times in Old Sydney town. someone is now sitting on the couch saying really funny things, including 'stop laughing at me'...i have the repeat button on '0.59, more like 5.9 at this point'...
Monday, January 19, 2009
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Sunday, January 11, 2009
number 94 doppelana
today i received an email with the subject titled 'doppelana'...twins are pretty fun when they are not your blood relation. i once had one that apparently worked at the lord dudley. i never went to check her out, thinking - what if the doppelana is better than the real me...
so as i clicked on the link reluctantly after the number of nights i have had out, with large portions of these missing i thought, maybe i shouldn't be opening this. i was pleasantly surprised at the version that i had been supplied with, the lead singer of a girl band that i was obsessed with randomly with a hit song 'those dancing days' (http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=ZFaJK9FOLl4). i responded to the email - flattered, but what i was really thinking all along was, imagine if i clicked on this and it was a picture of anja rubik with a swimsuit malfunction.
the response to that email was this 'hmmm. ok here you go: Doppelana!:'
...much much more similar i think.
*** that response came within 5 seconds of the sent message. i had forgotten which 2 boys know more models names and flaws better than most casting agent.
so as i clicked on the link reluctantly after the number of nights i have had out, with large portions of these missing i thought, maybe i shouldn't be opening this. i was pleasantly surprised at the version that i had been supplied with, the lead singer of a girl band that i was obsessed with randomly with a hit song 'those dancing days' (http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=ZFaJK9FOLl4). i responded to the email - flattered, but what i was really thinking all along was, imagine if i clicked on this and it was a picture of anja rubik with a swimsuit malfunction.
the response to that email was this 'hmmm. ok here you go: Doppelana!:'
...much much more similar i think.
*** that response came within 5 seconds of the sent message. i had forgotten which 2 boys know more models names and flaws better than most casting agent.
Monday, January 5, 2009
number 91 la cucaracha
Sunday, January 4, 2009
number 90 hand bag snoops
i went to my mums house for dinner last night. we ate salmon and made a mask for a big old wedding next week. at some point i asked jennie to put something in my hand bag and i could see as she was doing it, there were a whole lot of things running through her head - and she was seeing right into my life at this very moment.
firstly i know there was a lighter in there, in which i could see that she was thinking...hmm smoking hey, what is she smoking?? when did she start smoking??? ps the lighter was NOT in fact mine...a few other random things fueling motherly food for thought, including a photo booth photo. this had come from the previous night in which we had shifted our slippery dance party from my concrete floor to a fine establishment that has one of the only film photo booths left in a public place. being a born leader, the blonde directed the shoot (the photo's always turn out better if you have some sort of direction or theme - SEXY, grumpy etc).
anyway, as i knew jennie had taken a quick peek at the entire actual contents of my bag in 5 milli seconds pretending not to - i proceeded to pull out the photo just to confirm that the 3rd photo down, was not in fact ORGASMIC (good adjective suggestion blondie) and that i am not a lesbian, we were in fact angelic...jennie's exact words were, 'there is trouble', in which i promptly said 'what?? we are being heavenly - you know angelic'...don't know how much she believed of anything i was telling her.
why is it that once back at the family home, the 15-19 year old comes back to life? including the telling of obvious lies.
what is not angelic or singing to the heavens about this one??
firstly i know there was a lighter in there, in which i could see that she was thinking...hmm smoking hey, what is she smoking?? when did she start smoking??? ps the lighter was NOT in fact mine...a few other random things fueling motherly food for thought, including a photo booth photo. this had come from the previous night in which we had shifted our slippery dance party from my concrete floor to a fine establishment that has one of the only film photo booths left in a public place. being a born leader, the blonde directed the shoot (the photo's always turn out better if you have some sort of direction or theme - SEXY, grumpy etc).
anyway, as i knew jennie had taken a quick peek at the entire actual contents of my bag in 5 milli seconds pretending not to - i proceeded to pull out the photo just to confirm that the 3rd photo down, was not in fact ORGASMIC (good adjective suggestion blondie) and that i am not a lesbian, we were in fact angelic...jennie's exact words were, 'there is trouble', in which i promptly said 'what?? we are being heavenly - you know angelic'...don't know how much she believed of anything i was telling her.
why is it that once back at the family home, the 15-19 year old comes back to life? including the telling of obvious lies.
what is not angelic or singing to the heavens about this one??
number 89 when worlds collide
people kept thinking jd was maurice's son?? with him saying 'ahh fongu' and whacking his crotch at the same time - i saw sia smile, and was like ok - worlds are colliding in the right direction, i do not have to tell HIM to stop touching her...
number 88 where to begin
2009 all fine, 2009 all mine, 2009 no more wine...i can't remember any more of the 2009 rhymes we made up - but 2009 day number 1 should have been 2009, lets rewind.
after a very very sensible evening prior, we had some sort of lapse in what we thought the 1st of January would actually bring us - meaning, there is such a thing as a human zoo, and it was happening at the ice bergs on this very day.
i was late. and felt stressed because i knew i was the only one that had a true sense of what was to come. seeing jd's small little face, trapped in some very small space beside the dj booth was the first indication that, i had falsely advertised the idea of 2009 all fine! squashed by the likes of people named paris, and cheyanne, i wondered who ate all the fucking calamari??
her bff did for sure!
after a very very sensible evening prior, we had some sort of lapse in what we thought the 1st of January would actually bring us - meaning, there is such a thing as a human zoo, and it was happening at the ice bergs on this very day.
i was late. and felt stressed because i knew i was the only one that had a true sense of what was to come. seeing jd's small little face, trapped in some very small space beside the dj booth was the first indication that, i had falsely advertised the idea of 2009 all fine! squashed by the likes of people named paris, and cheyanne, i wondered who ate all the fucking calamari??
her bff did for sure!
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