Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Monday, March 16, 2009
Saturday, March 14, 2009
number 130 self control
some times i feel like i used to have good self control. but sometimes now, i feel like i have used all of that self control up on things like not eating avocado in my late teens.
as of the past 2 months i am getting much better at controlling my contacting people at more appropriate times of the day, especially when there is alcohol involved. there is something satisfying when you finally get to the point in your life and you think twice about sending a text message at 4am saying you have seen some large fish, you may need help with catching them, and to get your rod ready...only to get your head together and delete it immediately.
but i do feel like i have used up more than a life time of self control due to certain circumstances in my life, which is why i guess i am laying on yet ANOTHER bed, writing this trying to distract myself from really wanting to do something that is battling my rapidly depleting self control merits. i mean really the only person that is going to suffer is me right now if i let myself do this. what i want to do is not going to hurt or damage anyone, and if i do it, then it will only be fuel for more stories.
oh man this is killing me. i wish mia would hurry up and stop building some trolly for her kitchen so she can get up here and drink cheap wine to distract me from this!!!! yes - the buzzer just went, my methadone has arrived!
ps i now eat avocado, and maybe i didn't delete that fishing message before i sent it...and mia says do it...i am screwed!
as of the past 2 months i am getting much better at controlling my contacting people at more appropriate times of the day, especially when there is alcohol involved. there is something satisfying when you finally get to the point in your life and you think twice about sending a text message at 4am saying you have seen some large fish, you may need help with catching them, and to get your rod ready...only to get your head together and delete it immediately.
but i do feel like i have used up more than a life time of self control due to certain circumstances in my life, which is why i guess i am laying on yet ANOTHER bed, writing this trying to distract myself from really wanting to do something that is battling my rapidly depleting self control merits. i mean really the only person that is going to suffer is me right now if i let myself do this. what i want to do is not going to hurt or damage anyone, and if i do it, then it will only be fuel for more stories.
oh man this is killing me. i wish mia would hurry up and stop building some trolly for her kitchen so she can get up here and drink cheap wine to distract me from this!!!! yes - the buzzer just went, my methadone has arrived!
ps i now eat avocado, and maybe i didn't delete that fishing message before i sent it...and mia says do it...i am screwed!
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
number 128 back to the future
i left somewhere great yesterday...i left a hole that i thought had been filled, but as i drove in that delancy car over the williamsburg bridge with a certain song in my head, i couldn't even bring myself to look back as i usually did and film, again, the same skye scrape i had filmed too many times over the last 6 months. the back and forth was finally to be paused.
now i sit in a very quiet lovely place. full belly, full moon, wondering if the dam will break. not tonight, but maybe when the jet lag finally sets in i will be wishing i was back in some stinky sublet with nothing, instead of being surrounded by amazing things...i did manage to pull a bit of old footage that i won't be watching for a little while.
that stinky city sux...well, only sometimes
now i sit in a very quiet lovely place. full belly, full moon, wondering if the dam will break. not tonight, but maybe when the jet lag finally sets in i will be wishing i was back in some stinky sublet with nothing, instead of being surrounded by amazing things...i did manage to pull a bit of old footage that i won't be watching for a little while.
that stinky city sux...well, only sometimes
Friday, March 6, 2009
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
number 125 womp womp
count it down, i am using up my phone credit like you wouldn't believe...t mobile, i soon will no longer be a slave to your money sapping pre paid minutes. QF107 18.40 i await you...
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
number 124 the beginning to miss
i guess i will start to wonder if i have made a wrong decision over the next couple of days...laughing my way around town yesterday at everyone slipping over - number 1 on the list of things i will most certainly miss about this big old city (that ice sure does get super slippery).
another, is the way people think you always have the answer - me walking past the church on thompson st, a man madly trying to break in, calling out to me 'why are they locking me out to pray, lady, lady why the hell are they locking me out to pray...'
your guess is as good as mine sir...
another, is the way people think you always have the answer - me walking past the church on thompson st, a man madly trying to break in, calling out to me 'why are they locking me out to pray, lady, lady why the hell are they locking me out to pray...'
your guess is as good as mine sir...
Monday, March 2, 2009
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