some times i feel like i used to have good self control. but sometimes now, i feel like i have used all of that self control up on things like not eating avocado in my late teens.
as of the past 2 months i am getting much better at controlling my contacting people at more appropriate times of the day, especially when there is alcohol involved. there is something satisfying when you finally get to the point in your life and you think twice about sending a text message at 4am saying you have seen some large fish, you may need help with catching them, and to get your rod ready...only to get your head together and delete it immediately.
but i do feel like i have used up more than a life time of self control due to certain circumstances in my life, which is why i guess i am laying on yet ANOTHER bed, writing this trying to distract myself from really wanting to do something that is battling my rapidly depleting self control merits. i mean really the only person that is going to suffer is me right now if i let myself do this. what i want to do is not going to hurt or damage anyone, and if i do it, then it will only be fuel for more stories.
oh man this is killing me. i wish mia would hurry up and stop building some trolly for her kitchen so she can get up here and drink cheap wine to distract me from this!!!! yes - the buzzer just went, my methadone has arrived!
ps i now eat avocado, and maybe i didn't delete that fishing message before i sent it...and mia says do it...i am screwed!
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